A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
