OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize