I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
