Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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