i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
