tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
