Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
