what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
