I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
