after a month anything with tits is on the radar
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
