i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Randomize
