He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
