whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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