So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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