I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
