If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
