well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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