they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Randomize
