Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
