She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
soo... how was my night?
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