I'm eating all of the evidence.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Randomize
