Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Randomize
