just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Randomize
