lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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