i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I need to align my fucking chakras
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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