Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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