he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
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