Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
