So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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