i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
How external is "for external use only"?
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
