I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
