what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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