So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
