Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
