Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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