New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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