we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize