Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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