well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
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