I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
