I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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