Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Randomize
