I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
