I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
