That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
