I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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