I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
It's never too late to be topless.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
