super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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