the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
