butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
