Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
