Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Sober January is a disaster.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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