I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
