I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
