margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
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