North Korea, Best Korea!
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
