R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I just want to make out with him forever
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
